With a new year already upon us, I’ve finally decided to bite the bullet and go through with something that has been on my mind for quite awhile now – namely, start a blog!

For a bit of background, this time last year I wrote and shared a story of God’s faithfulness in my life over the past few years, a story that captured the gist of my recent crisis of faith, the ways in which God met me in the midst of it, and the life-changing things I learned and experienced along the way. If you haven’t already read it, I’d definitely encourage you to check it out, as it provides much of the background for this blog and more or less serves as the foundation for everything to come. Since sharing my story, many people have expressed how much they either loved my writing, how much of what I wrote had moved them in one way or another, and/or how much they wished that I would elaborate by continuing to write more. As someone who absolutely dreads writing (even though I have, to my own disbelief at times, written and published a book), I was in one sense both surprised and flattered by the reception of what I wrote, and yet in another sense also convicted by my own reluctance to continue writing. This was especially the case given the innate sense of calling on my own part to do so, as well as the extent to which people have personally encouraged me to do so – especially those who have found it helpful or who have found themselves drawn closer to God as a result.

As such, and having thought about, prayed about, and debated about (i.e. procrastinatingly resisted) the matter over the last year or so, I have finally fallen on my proverbial sword and decided to continue writing. Elaborating on much of what I said before, my hope is that doing so will help shed additional light on the nature of my past struggles with faith and some of the things I learned along the way that helped me through it. Although my hope is that those who might be struggling with their own faith might find the details of my story to be helpful, I also realize that for many others a lot of what I will have to say may be seen in some sense as either irrelevant, ridiculous, or potentially even threatening. As an inherent “people pleaser” who more or less seeks to avoid anything that would lead to neglect, ridicule, or confrontation, it has taken me awhile to muster the courage to accept that reality, but accepted it I have. 

I should note that my goal here is not to ruffle feathers, start debates, or cause anyone to stumble. Neither is it to appease, convert, criticize, or shame anyone, regardless of their religious beliefs. Rather, my goal in doing this blog is to merely share my own journey of faith as honestly and transparently as I can. In doing so, my hope is that it might not only help me process and express something that has been simmering within me for some time, but that it may also be a source of hope for those who may be in a similar place of struggle as I once was. At a minimum, my hope is that it might at least serve as a source of contemplation for those who may simply be curious to hear what I have to say or who are themselves exploring the waters of faith. Although a lot of what I have to share may only be relatable to those who identify (or who have previously identified) as Christian in some sense, my hope is that those of other religious persuasions may also find it enlightening to some degree as well.

Additionally, although it might be common in religious circles to claim certainty in one’s own convictions, I do not do so. Far from being someone who claims to have it all figured out or to have discovered all the answers to the mysteries of faith, I intend to come merely as one humble traveler along the journey of faith to another. Indeed, I probably consider myself agnostic on the majority of issues. Although I do have my own convictions (as do we all), I am still processing a lot of where I have been and where I am going, and am very much aware that I could be wrong in much of what I have come to believe and in much of what I have to share. As such, I do not seek to write from a spirit of having been “wrong” and now being “right,” but rather from a spirit of having found significant meaning and purpose in how I have come to see my own faith. Thus, it is not from a heart of superiority or criticality that I write, but rather from a heart of sensitivity and compassion. Sensitivity to those who may still believe as I once did and who remain content in doing so, and compassion for those who may be experiencing some of the same struggles that I have experienced myself, and who are perhaps looking for another way.

That being said, because my past struggles with faith had mostly to do with the struggles of my mind and its beliefs, most of what I have to say will be predominantly intellectual or theological in nature. Nevertheless, my goal is not to communicate in some lofty or academic way that may be difficult to understand for those not acquainted with the subject (something I’ve been told I’m not always as successful in doing as I might have hoped). Rather, my goal is to write a theological memoir of sorts, combining both the theological and the personal in a way that is both honest and transparent, and that authentically explores and captures the heart of my story in a way that can be read and understood by all. For those who have read my book, what follows will (hopefully) be a much more accessible and down-to-earth explanation of much of what I was trying to communicate there, as well as a great deal more of what lay beneath the surface that led me to write the book in the first place.

Although my story ebbs and flows throughout a variety of different areas that I once struggled with and on which my thinking has since changed (in some cases quite dramatically), the two particular areas that loomed larger than them all had to do with the way I viewed the nature of the Bible and the way I viewed the nature of faith. Although such struggles impacted my beliefs in many other areas, it is those two areas in particular that I struggled with the most and on which my thinking has since changed the most. As such, although I am passionate about many other important and fascinating areas pertinent to my faith (especially areas in philosophy and apologetics), it is those two areas in particular which I intend to focus on throughout the lifespan of this blog. In doing so, I will attempt to unpack the details of each while explaining how they became such an important part of my story. Of course, I’m always open to discussing issues related to other areas as well upon request. Lastly, although I will try my best to do justice to many of the issues that will come up along the way, those who wish to explore some of the issues in more depth are encouraged to check out the list of additional resources that have had a significant influence on my journey here.

To kick things off, however, I’d like to start by first sketching the lay of the land, so to speak, before diving too deep into anything specific. As it is all too easy to miss the forest for the trees, my aim in the next few posts will be to give a broad-brush outline of where I’ve been and where I’m at currently in my journey. Doing so will hopefully help set the stage by providing somewhat of a framework and some context that might be helpful down the road. Although you may or may not always agree with what I have to say, and although there will no doubt be much left unsaid for the sake of brevity, my hope is that you will nevertheless find it enlightening and helpful in some way. In the end, my aim is not to necessarily change hearts or minds (as amazing as that would be), but to simply give greater clarity into how my own faith has evolved over the years, providing some food for thought and perhaps a helpful framework for others who wish to explore their own faith along the way. 

Until then, many thanks to all who have expressed their kind words after reading my story, to all who have encouraged me to keep writing (despite my ambivalence), and to all who seek to join me along the rest of the journey. May what follows be helpful not only in giving you a glimpse of this humble traveler’s experience along their journey of faith thus far, but in drawing you deeper into your own journey as well.

Much Love and a Happy New Year to All,